Banana Bread
by fireheart93
Summary: The TARDIS is stuck in the void with Jack, the Doctor and Katana inside. Cabin feaver abounds.


**A.N:** _This is just a short oneshot I wrote when I was 't ask me how Jack got on the TARDIS, I don't know. The story decided it wanted him there. I don't make any money out of this and I don't own anything other than Katana._

It was a month since Captain Jack Harkness had joined the Doctor and Katana on the TARDIS, and Katana was quickly becoming fed up with him. It wasn't his character; she found him great fun to be around and a wonderful companion. It wasn't even his constant flirting with anything that moved; she had seen through it straight away. When she was alone with him he was all that was sweet and fun. But if he was alone with the Doctor for more than ten minutes all hell broke loose. At first it had been quite funny, watching them banter and argue, but now it was just getting old. Things came to a head one afternoon when the TARDIS had been stuck in the vortex for three days in order for the Doctor to repair her. As a result, all three of them had rather nasty cases of cabin fever. And, trust me when I say this, a red head with cabin fever is to be avoided at all costs.

Katana was sitting in the control room reading Pride and Prejudice (she didn't care how much the men teased her she loved the book). She liked it in there because she felt close to the TARDIS. It had an extra advantage at this present time because the TARDIS was the only calm person on the ship. Just being near her made Katana feel more relaxed. She was just getting to the romantic part at the end of the book when Jack came tearing through the room. Almost immediately after he left, the Doctor came running through as well, entering and exiting by the same doors as Jack. Katana didn't look up. About three minutes later Jack hurtled through the room again, the Doctor close behind him. Katana looked up in confusion but quickly returned to her book. The third time Jack and the Doctor ran through she gave them the evil eye. The fourth time they ran through she told them to,

"Go and bug someone else." The fifth time she yelled at them to,

"Go find somewhere else to play your stupid games and leave me in peace!" the sixth time she lost it. She raised her arms and cast two separate force fields around Jack and the Doctor, stopping them in their tracks.

"Now," she said, deceptively calm, "what appears to be the problem?"

"He ate the last of my banana bread!" the Doctor wined, sounding for all the world like an eight year old boy.

"He ate your banana bread," Katana repeated, levelly. The Doctor nodded.

"I didn't know it was yours, it didn't have a label on it. It was…" Jack began hotly, but he stopped when Katana raised her hand and gave him a look.

"I'm going to say this once, and only once…WOULD YOU TWO STOP ACTING LIKE CHILDREN! I don't know what is with you two. Why can't you just leave each other alone and stop acting like eight year old brothers! I know it's boring stuck in the vortex but you two are not making it any easier with your constant fighting. I'm starting to feel like your mother! Well, you know what; I refuse to get involved in your petty squabbles, ok? So I am going to go and have a long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!" And with that she stormed out of the room, leave a rather stunned pair of men behind her.

"Wow!" Jack said.

"Yep," the Doctor replied, popping the p.

"She has never looked more attractive," Jack continued, still staring after Katana.

"Yep… I mean what?" the Doctor said, slightly shock. Jack neglected to reply, instead saying,

"Look, I'm sorry I ate your banana bread, I wasn't thinking."

"And I'm sorry I over-reacted," the Doctor replied. "Katana was right, we were acting like kids. We weren't being fair on her."

"Well," Jack said, slowly, "lets make it up to her." Catching the Doctor's disgusted expression he laughed. "Not like that. I was thinking we could cook her nice meal. Although, now that I think of it, your idea does sound attractive…"

"NO!" the Doctor interrupted. "But I like your idea of dinner. To the kitchen!" he began to walk forwards only to discover he couldn't move more than two foot in any direction. A glace over at Jack confirmed that he was having the same problem. They were still surrounded by Katana's force fields! They looked at each other and shouted.

"KATANA!"

In her bathroom Katana grinned. That would teach those two to interrupt her annual reading of Pride and Prejudice. She knew it was childish but she couldn't help herself. Ah yes, revenge was sweet. Especially when it involved the last of the Time Lords and a very cute ex-Time Agent discovering just how bitter their own medicine was.


End file.
